


Death and Rebirth (?)

by PhantomShyraz



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, I don't want to kill KID but I did so anyways, M/M, Possible Character Death, Suicide Attempt, au-ish, possible angst, shinkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomShyraz/pseuds/PhantomShyraz
Summary: Heroes never die (?)





	Death and Rebirth (?)

**Author's Note:**

> This is, once again, kind of like a cross post from FFnet. AO3 for me has become something of a dumpsite for anything that isn't 'family friendly' enough. Might, in an uncertain future, mirror FFnet stories to here...  
> This story is a response to a reader request from zzzjem on FFnet: "I see lots of Shinichi dying and Kaito being the one left to clean up everything about b.o, mourn for shinichi and grieve. How about this time, Kaito dies in Shinichi's arms? How Shinichi would react to grief depends on you. Bonus points for more pain if they're in an established relationship and shinichi doesn't become kid".

Shinichi could not believe it was happening, especially so when everything seems to have run so smoothly at the heist. KID came, landed on top of the display case with flourish, the Task Force reacted with their usual antics of pile-on-the-bandit routine with Inspector Nakamori shouting and swearing up a storm in the background. After KID had evaded each and every officer, secured them with a network of ribbons, all that was left was KID lifting the gem out of the case, without even opening the case, and Shinichi chasing KID up the stairs and out into the rooftop. KID went through the customary lift-the-gem-towards-the-moonlight gesture and that was where everything turned downhill.

The gem in his hands suddenly emitted a soft white glow, sparkling and ethereal underneath the moonlight. The visible indigo eye widened at the sight accompanied by a slackening of the mouth, forming into a perfect 'o'. Shinichi watched as KID's gaze was enraptured by the gem, his focus, too, was on the thief and the gem. Which may be why he never picked up on the sudden tense atmosphere.

There was a whistling in the air, a soft whistling of something travelling at a very high speeds, before a soft thud. KID then crumbled onto the rooftop, lying still and facing up into the moonlight. The gem, still glowing, rested on a growing patch of redness, staining both the stone and the white suit.

"KID!" Shinichi rushed over as the white glove hand grip onto the gem and the wound on his chest. Right pectorals if Shinichi had to be exact, but the wound was definitely more close to the center than to the shoulders. Shinichi helped put pressure on the wound, not caring at how the gem seems to be digging into his own skin, nor cared about it staining his sleeves. "KID, stay with me."

"I think I did it…" KID's voice came in soft whispers, eyes focused onto Shinichi's face as he tries to staunch the flow. It might be his imagination but Shinichi would like to think that the blood might be slower than before with his added help. "Shinichi, I think I did it."

"Of course you did." Shinichi answered, knowing tears were slowly beginning to form on the rim of his eyes. "You're the Phantom Thief KID. Everything you set out to do, you succeed."

"Not only that…" The voice was barely above whispers now, it took all of Shinichi's concentration to take in the next few words. "I think I found it as well." The smile, that satisfied smile, was painful for Shinichi to look at. He would rather see that annoying grin or the confident smirk instead of whatever was showing on the thief's face.

"But you haven't confirmed it yet…" A single drop of tear fell from Shinichi's eyes, blurring the blood stain on his hand. "You haven't confirmed it…" He hoped that by giving KID a seemingly unfinished business, the thief would hold on until Shinichi could figure something out.

"But it glowed. It glowed white, and I'm sure it'll turn red as well." A white glove hand, the one that had been resting on the roof instead of gripping the gem, reached out to caress Shinichi's cheeks. "Can you promise me? To make sure this stays safe?"

"It's something you're supposed to do! Remember? You're...KID is supposed to keep this safe from the hands of other criminals." Shinichi held up the hand with the gem, momentarily forgetting the wound. The glow was still visible even as it was coated by his blood. The pinkish light made the gem look more sinister than the ethereal diamond it was supposed to be. "You once told me a Phantom Thief's job is to protect precious items. Isn't this supposed to be a precious item? Aren't you more suited to do this than I?"

Shinichi begged with pleading eyes as the indigo pupils were slowly hidden by heavy eyelids. "KI-Kaito, please. Stay with me here." Shinichi held the hand, the bloodied gloved hand, to his chest. His head bowed as tears flowed unrestrained down his cheeks and cascade over their joint hand with the jewel held between them. "Kaito, please, open your eyes."

"Shinichi." KID's, no Kaito's, breath came in pants. Shinichi could see he was having difficult trying to string together the syllables. "Tell mum I'm sorry?"

"No! You tell her yourself!" Shinichi held onto the hand tighter, as though his physical connection can help anchor Kaito into his reality.

"I'm sorry Shinichi…" The sad smile on his face was tearing Shinichi apart. Indigo eyes were becoming more unfocused as it stare pass Shinichi's face. His gaze, it seems, was fixated on the moon hung above him. "I wanted to protect it, protect you, and everyone." With a final huff, his eyes closed. Kaito's chest barely rose and it looked as though he was not breathing. Shinichi noted how the blood stopped pooling beneath him, stopping just millimeters beyond where Shinichi knelt.

"Kaito." The hand in Shinichi's grasp slacked and he unknowingly released it as he dove in to shake Kaito's shoulder. "Oi, don't...don't close your eyes." Shinichi, as though suddenly coming back to his senses, jolted and patted on Kaito's suit. "Where is it? Where is it?" He frantically asked as he shoved his hand into the various pockets, starting with all the hidden ones.

It was on the outside pocket of the white jacket where Shinichi found the small transmitter. He hastily pressed down on the singular button. It would send a distress signal to Jii, who should be nearby, notifying him of the location. Kaito had told him about this transmitter just that evening and neither had thought they needed it. But here he was, holding tight onto the inconspicuously small device as though it was a lifeline.

Minutes must have passed, even though it seemed like hours, and Shinichi finally heard the sound of rushed footsteps. Coming with Jii was the Professor, who apparently was a good friend and the supplier of many KID gadgets, and Haibara tagging alongside. One look on his face had the young scientist running towards him.

"Kudo-kun." She waved a hand in front of Shinichi, who barely registered.

"Haibara." He replied with a lag. Jii was quickly on his knees, assessing the wound and damage.

"Look at me Kudo-kun. Focus on me for now." Haibara took Shinichi's face into her small hands. "Stay in the moment for now. Don't freak out on us." She repeated in a calming tone. It helped bring Shinichi back somewhat from his internal panic.

Even though they planned for this type of eventuality, that they planned for when KID was seriously wounded. They never took into account KID possibly being mortally wounded to the point where he could not make an escape and finish his performance. With the Task Force still downstairs, they have limited time to come up with a solution.

"We...we need to get him help." Shinichi managed to say. "Medical attention. Gunshot wound to the...to the…"

"We know Kudo-kun. What we need now is KID to escape." Haibara prompted. "I have an idea but you need to carry it through for him." She shoved a large bag in his direction. "Release the dummy while the Professor and Jii-san take care of KID. Then return to the hall, release the Task Force and tell them KID has escaped. We'll take KID back to the manor."

"But Kaito, he needs...hospital...and surgery...the wound..."

"Trust us, we can help KID. You need to do your part." By then, both the professor and Jii had already bundled Kaito in a dark cape. It looked too much like a body bag and Shinichi had to avert his eyes to rid himself of the image of KID being carried out like many of the corpse he has seen.

"Remember, dummy then change then Task Force. It would not do for them to know you've had contact with KID and that there were gunshots fired." Haibara forced Shinichi to stand up. "The less police involvement there are, the safer for everyone as we don't know who the shooters are just yet." He carried out the tasks in a daze, returning to the hall and gave a monotone report to the inspector before heading back home.

The Kudo Manor looked surprisingly cold and daunting underneath the full moon's light. The area was extremely silent even though Shinichi knew there were people inside, rushing about. He quietly approached the front door, not bothering to call out the customary 'tadaima' as he took off his shoes. He saw four other pairs of shoes by the foyer, a small children's pair of shoes, two pairs of men's shoes, and a pair of low heels. Shinichi could hear faint rustling sounds from an upstairs bedroom. He moved towards the source of the sound.

Sitting outside on a wooden chair was a distressed Phantom Lady dressed casually in clothes hastily thrown together from the closet.

"Chikage-san." Shinichi approached, trying to ease her death grip on the water glass. "Kaito, he's…"

"Jii and Agasa is with them. Ai-chan as well. But...I saw…"

It was not easy for a mother to see her child severely injured and limp in another's arms. It was even worse when she saw the once-pristine suit stained in red being cut away. She had thought the momento from her late-husband could keep their son safe even as he pursued his own brand of justice.

"I'm sorry." Shinichi apologised without knowing why he should. He bowed low with his eyes closed. "I was there and I couldn't-"

"Shinichi-kun, it's not your fault." Chikage comforted, wrapping his arm around the forlorn teen. "Both of you were distracted." She says as though she had been there in person, that she saw how they reacted when the gem glowed.

"Where is it?" Shinichi could not help but ask, not seeing the gem anywhere.

"Where is what?" Chikage looked concerned, following Shinichi's line of sight towards the various surfaces in their vision.

"The night's target. It was in his hands the whole time." Shinichi stood, concerned that it might have been lost during transportation.

"It could be inside..." She motioned before standing up and rushing into the room after him.

The two older males looked up as they heard the door open, only Haibara was focused on the pale magician on the guest bed. Shinichi ignored their questioning gaze and went to the pile of white material discarded to the side. But there was no need to search through it as Shinichi managed to catch a glimpse of light emitting from between Kaito's fingers.

Carefully he approached the too-still Kaito with cautious steps, baring in mind not to disrupt the surgery that Haibara was conducting. She was bent over the gunshot wound, held open with metal retractors, as she focused all her attention to the bullet extraction. Her blue gloved hands were barely shaking even as she closed the tweezers around the bullet.

Shinichi stood still, as though frozen on the spot, as he watched how Haibara was trying to carefully remove the foreign object from the flesh. To the side, the professor was stationed at a cardiogram, closely monitoring the vitality. Jii was given the task of monitoring oxygen levels and sedatives. Shinichi had to wonder why there was the need for sedatives when Kaito was already unconscious.

"If you're just going to stand there," Haibara's cool voice sounded too loud even as it was muffled by the face mask, "then you should go sit outside. We don't need you to bring in further contaminants."

"Shinichi-kun." Chikage tugged at his hand, "come with me."

"Kaito." Shinichi dug his feet into the floor, not wanting to budge an inch. He slowly, carefully, walked over towards Kaito, on the opposite side of the bed where Haibara was operating from.

"Kudo-kun." She warned, eyes finally taking their focus from the wound. The magnifying headpiece made here eyes look comedically innocent even with the blood splatters on her clothes.

"I...I need to be here." He took hold of the hand with the gem. "I have to be here." He enforced, eyes with a steely gleam.

The skin of Kaito's hands were too cold in Shinichi's opinion and he merely tightened his own hands as though trying to share his warmth. In between the crevice of their fingers, he could just make out the small amount of light from the gem, a tainted glow in Shinichi's opinion. He thought he felt warmth emitting from the gem for a second but he decided it must be his imagination.

She sighed and returned to her work.

The bullet came out with a small splurge of blood and Haibara hastily reached over to the silver dish for a clamp. The bullet was dropped into another dish with a resounding clang before she reached for the suturing kit, helpfully handed over to her by Chikage who also remained in the room. The next hour was tense as there seems to be complications in closing up the wound. But Shinichi sat through it all, eyes never once left Kaito's face.

Shinichi never knew when day turned to night as he sat there with his hands enclosing Kaito's. He knew, at some point, Haibara had asked him to sit Kaito up so she can bandage the wound, a task that Chikage quickly took over stating that she has better reach and would therefore make the task easier. He thought he heard someone telling him that all they have to do now is wait for Kaito to wake up but Shinichi could not remember his response.

He sat there through the hours, strangely sensitive to the coldness of the skin. There was a slow soft beep in the background telling him that Kaito was apparently still alive. But each beep seemed to be further and further in between as Shinichi's consciousness drifted between the feel of coldness and the stillness of Kaito's face. The pump by his side was loud in his ears, signalling that Kaito as breathing even though it was likely forced by the machine. But Shinichi was too focused on the feeling underneath his hands, the cold clammy feeling of the skin.

"Shinichi-kun." Chikage approached Shinichi, giving him a tap on his shoulders. "Please get some sleep."

Shinichi shook his head, holding tighter onto the hand. Something fell off his shoulders, he guessed it was a blanket someone helpfully covered him with. He shuddered lightly at the sudden change of temperature.

"You've been in this position for two days. We're all very worried about you."

Still, Shinichi shook his head. He did not want to leave, did not want to let go. He feared that if he had, Kaito would not have an anchor and would never come back to his side. The beeping sound he remembered hearing was gone, same with the wheezing of the pump. There were no other outward signs to tell Shinichi whether Kaito was still here with him but he believed his presence here would remind Kaito that there is someone here waiting. He tightened his grip on the cold flesh in response, the added pressure a message for his magician to return.

"You need to sleep, rest, eat. You need to keep living." Chikage's hands came into view, forcefully removing his fingers from Kaito's hands.

"No." His own voice came in a crackling sound. "Please, let me stay."

"It's not healthy." She sighed, taking a seat on the empty space of the bed. She took hold of Shinichi's face, turning it so they were looking at each other's eyes. "You need to rest."

"Let me stay here. I'll…"

"You leave me no choice." She took out a can, which he recognised as an aerosol can carried by KID. A spray of pink came out before Shinichi could hold his breath and he felt his own grip slipping from Kaito's. Shinichi valiantly tries to hold on but he felt how each of his muscle groups relaxed. Before his eyes closed, he saw the look of regret on Chikage's face as he slumped over to lie on top of Kaito's rather still chest.

Shinichi woke in what seems like an eternity later. He was tucked in the bed he shares with Kaito. He groggily turned over towards the side Kaito had favoured only to find it to be freezing cold. His memory soon came rushing forward, a memory of blood and coldness, and he bolted up. Nearly tripping over his blanket, he rushed out of the room and into the guest room only to find it empty. During his sleep, everything had been cleared away including Kaito who should have been resting on the bed. Shinichi ran through the corridor, opening each and every door he came across in the hopes of finding some sign that maybe Kaito had woken up and was wondering about inside the house. But only silence greeted him at each and every turn.

Panicking, Shinichi ran downstairs and out the front door. His bare feel not feeling the harsh concrete surface beneath as he ran over next door and banged loud enough to be heard all the way down the street.

"Kudo-kun?" Haibara answered the door.

"Where is he?" Shinichi demanded, pushing his way through the threshold. He ignored the call from Haibara to slow down and ask why he came over dressed as he was. "Where's Kaito?"

She paused for a moment before shaking her head, "I'm sorry." She replied with a hint of regret.

Shinichi slumped down, his back leaning heavily on the closed door as he slide further down into the ground. There were only so many ways that the phrase could be interpreted and with how things went, his mind came up with the worst case scenario.

"Chikage-san and Jii-san took him. Saying you probably shouldn't have to witness it." Shinichi saw a pair of legs coming over in his direction. He felt a comforting hand placed on his shoulders, giving it a squeeze. "They were trying to spare you of the pain and mental anguish."

"No." He begged with his eyes, looking up at the rather solemn face. "Tell me that's a lie."

"It's the truth Kudo-kun. They took him away in secret."

"At least, tell me where they...where they buri-" His voice cracked and refused to complete the word. It was as though by saying it, everything would become real.

Haibara merely shook her head. "They didn't tell us."

Haibara took pity on him and led him towards the sofa. The professor came baring a cup of tea, which Shinichi barely registered as it was forced into his hands. He turned to look between the pair standing before him, eyes trying to pick out the barest hint of a lie. His eyes skimmed over the various signs of fatigue, of concern, of pain and worry. Out on the corner of his eye, he saw a glint of keys and he quickly dove over to grab it.

"Shinichi-kun!" "Kudo-kun!" The pair shouted, both hand reaching out to stop Shinichi. But he was just that slightly bit faster as he took the car keys and headed towards where the Yellow Beetle was parked. The car looked as though it has seen better days, there were signs of disuse but Shinichi ignored them as he wrenched open the driver-side doors and slip into the seat.

The drive came in a blur and soon he was in front of the Kuroba house in Ekoda. It felt empty, as though no one has been in there for a long time. The gates creaked as it opened into the front gardens with plants that looked slightly underfed and it alarmed Shinichi. Standing on the porch, he realised how quiet everything was. He knocked on the door only for it to echo back. Knowing where the spare key was, he bent over to the nearest bush to look for a specific rock. Underneath, he found the key lodged inside a tailored indentation.

Opening the front door with a strange creak, Shinichi saw dust mites flying through the agitated air. He coughed lightly as he walked through the empty corridors. The house was empty of all signs of life, white sheets covered furnitures on the ground floor. Shinichi walked over to the mantle of the fireplace where it was littered with various frames. There were signs that they have been moved, and by Shinichi's count several were taken away. He remembered there were a number of photos featuring himself and Kaito together placed on the mantelpiece, framed in a wireframe made by Kaito's hands. A majority of them were gone from its home, leaving photos of Kaito behind.

"Kaito." Shinichi took the one featuring Kaito in a fetching suit, obviously taken during a performance of some sort. The Kaito in the picture had his hands raised as doves flew around him, showering confetti on the magician. Shinichi hugged the frame and photo, bowing over as he tries to regather his emotions.

With a deep intake of air, Shinichi carried the frame with him as he continued to explore the empty house on his bare feet. His instincts led him up the stairs and instead of heading directly to Kaito's room, he tried the master suite hoping to see Chikage sitting there. Unfortunately, he was met with an empty room with the bed covered in white sheets. It was obvious that the room had not been used lately. He quietly closed the room and headed for the other bedroom across the hall.

Shinichi's hands hovered over the doorknob, suddenly fearing what laid beyond. He squeezed his eyes shut as he pushed the door open.

It too had its furniture covered with white cloths. Shinichi noted how the large picture of Kuroba Toichi had been carefully wrapped with the cloth. Walking over, he tore the cloth off, it fell in a rustling heap by his feet.

"Toichi-san…" He touched the picture reverently. "Tell me it's not true…" His fingers made its way to the hidden switch to unlock the doorway towards the Kaitou lair. The painting swung open, a ladder clearly visible for Shinichi to climb down.

Carefully and ignoring the digging rungs on the soles of his feet, he descended down the ladder into the dark cave-like room. He had to fumble around slightly for a switch to turn on the light. What he saw had more than frightened him.

The room was completely empty of everything.

Shinichi turned to look at where there should be a jukebox only to find a pale rectangle on the ground where it used to stand. He looked to where there should be a cupboard holding the various copies of the KID suit only to find empty railings. The large space where a car was once parked now showed the bitumen underneath. Shinichi walked to the furthest end that had another ladder, thankfully it was still there, and inspected its safety. He climbed upwards, a longer climb than before as it led towards the aviary.

Bright sunlight shone through as opposed to the dark cave. There were several stray white feathers by Shinichi's feet. There was a rustling of feathers up above him and Shinichi took note of the beady eyes in his direction. One particular dove flew from its perch and landed on Shinichi's shoulder. He recognised this dove.

"Tama-chan?" He stroked the soft feathers. "Where's...where did they go?" Shinichi took a quick count of the remaining birds, there was only six left of the many flocks that Kaito kept. It was as though they were too stubborn to leave this place.

Tama-chan cooed softly, rubbing at Shinichi's cheeks, before calling out for the other birds. One by one, they flew down to nuzzle at Shinichi's cheeks before finding a perch somewhere closeby. Only Tama-chan remained situated on his shoulders.

"Did...Did Chikage-san take them because...because…" Shinichi's breath hitched as everything became all too real. He fell onto the ground, tears flowing down without a care as he hunched over as though to hide from the world. The doves sensed his distressed and came flying closer, settling nearby so they could nuzzle at Shinichi.

Back at the professor's house, Haibara Ai looked worriedly at the aging professor.

"He didn't notice." She closed the open door with small push.

The professor looked worriedly out the towards the Kudo manor where it looked to have been in a state of disrepair. Years of neglect tends to do that to a house. Even with the elder Kudo's dropping in frequently to check on their son's condition after the collapse, the house had lain forgotten for a majority of the time. She would go into the house from time to time, checking to make sure the detective was, technically, still alive even if in a long and deep sleep akin to a coma. The several doctors who came by had said this was caused by a psychological and that the detective's mind refused to acknowledge the truth.

"We need to find him." The Professor picked up the phone and started calling a particular friend, hoping that he would pick up. Jii Kounosuke drops in from time to time but rarely stays for long. He came only to ask about how Shinichi was doing on behalf of Chikage but he never did say where the woman was currently living.

After three rings someone picked up the phone.

" _Blue Parrot, how may I help you?_ " He was not particularly surprised that someone else other than Jii picked up. He remembered that although the man owned the billiard hall, he handed the operations over to someone else.

"Is Kounosuke Jii there?" He asked. There was a rustling in the background. Before the voice replied with a slight English accent.

" _Please wait a moment._ " The handset was obviously being taken away from the main billiard hall towards a quieter area. Soft voices came through before another, more recognisable voice answered.

"Hello? Who's this?"

" _Jii, it's Hiroshi._ "

There must have been a slight panic in his voice as Jii's immediate reply was " _did something happen?_ "

"Shinichi-kun woke up."

There was a sharp intake of air, " _have you told him?_ "

"He left before we could say anything else." There was another pause.

" _Alright, he's probably at the house. I'll head over and take a look._ " Without a goodbye, the call ended.

Jii was more than worried about the change of events. He left a quick note to the blond detective who had taken up the task of the billiard hall's upkeep and headed over the the long abandoned Kuroba house.

Parked outside rather haphazardly was the familiar form of the Yellow Beetle. Jii walked up the front gates, passed the threshold, and began his comb through the house interior. After a good fifteen minutes, he found Shinichi huddled in the middle of the aviary with several birds using his back as a perch.

"Shinichi-kun." He reached out to pat on the boy's back.

"Jii-san?" The teary hopeful eyes looked at him. "Please tell me…"

Jii shook his head. "It's better if you didn't know."

"But I-"

"No, you've just woken up and much has changed." He helped Shinichi to his feet, guiding him down another path that led to a familiar bedroom. The birds followed diligently with several using Shinichi as a perch and two flying closely behind. Jii sat Shinichi down on the sheet-covered bed opposite of the portrait of Kuroba Toichi.

"For starters," he said, taking the chair by the desk, "I need to know what you remembered."

Shinichi closed his eyes tightly as memories of the incident resurfaced. "The heist." He replied softly, "the gem, and...and...Kaito."

"That's a good start." He nodded sagely. "Now, what I'm about to tell you may sound strange and unbelievable but bare with me."

Shinichi looked up, hope was beginning to blossom. Perhaps Jii would tell him that Kaito merely in hiding and that he was in fact healthy and unharmed.

"You've been asleep for five years."

"No, you're lying!" Shinichi stood up abruptly, dislodging the several birds on his laps. "It can't be."

"I'm not." Jii shook his head solemnly, "it's been five years and Kaito-bocchama is no longer here. Chikage-sama took him away, shortly after your collapse, because the doctors said Kaito-bocchama was the catalyst for your sudden slip into a semi-coma state. She felt it would be best for them to no longer be here."

"But...but...is Kaito, did Kaito ever recover?" He hoped, dearly hoped that Kaito had at least survived. But his last memory of Kaito was of him being cold underneath his fingers.

Jii shook his head.

Shinichi slumped down to the dove's cooing.

"It's all their fault." He said with a cold tone. "This is all their fault."

"Shinichi-kun?"

"I will find them and I will bring them to their knees." Shinichi was lost in the mental pain of losing Kaito, of losing everything including five years of his life even though this time it was not due to poison. "I will make them regret for crossing with me."

Shinichi stood up, the birds have taken to following him instead of returning to the aviary and he let them. He descended the stairs and headed to the parked car. The birds dutifully entered the interior and settled on the passenger seat. Shinichi gave them a nod, promising them that he would take care of the remaining birds.

"Shinichi-kun!" Jii called from the pathway, his old age had prevented him from following with the speed required.

"I'll make sure they never hurt anyone else again." He turned to tell him before entering the vehicle and shutting the door.

"Shinichi-kun! Don't do anything stupid!" Jii's words were lost to Shinichi as he drove back towards Beika. He dropped off the car in front of the Professor's place, leaving the keys inside the postbox instead of handing them in person. The birds had followed him into the house and settled around his room as took a seat in front of the computer. He began digging into files, looking through police server for records, and all in all fell back into an investigative mode.

He weaseled his way into each and every police investigation, took part in supposingly secret-operations run by the PSB. He used his contacts with the FBI and CIA to find out whether the shooting was caused by a new group or if it was the old group trying to rise from the ashes. He used every single resource at his disposal, ignoring all social calls by his friends, as he fell neck deep into the investigation. His parents had been concerned, returning to Japan to keep him company. They commented on his obsession with bringing justice to criminals, however small and inconsequential. The media lauded his achievement, showcasing his success to the world. He became more well known than before as people flocked to his newest office in downtown Tokyo. People bringing him cases and the occasional gifts.

When Shinichi found how deeply entrenched those involved in the KID shooting was with the law enforcement, he knew he could not take the case to any of the police officers or agents. It was something he had to do himself. Instead of bringing everything to light, he slipped into darkness, tailing the criminals himself, making sure they were alone, and interrogating them using his own means to garner more information about the so-called Organisation. It might not have been as big as the one he dealt with during his time as Conan, but it was still quite widespread in Japan. The group originated from the States, having moved into Japan and settled down to form a base of operations. They forced their way into the fabric of Japanese society, leaving their own people at high places as the previous Black Organisation left power gaps.

He made sure that each criminal he interrogated knew the consequences of hurting others, left everlasting marks on the bodies to help them remember. Shinichi left these criminals in the bowels of the Underworld, letting other equally unscrupulous criminals deal out the punishment. His actions were soon known by the Yakuza, who gave him a nickname of the Shadow Phantom, and they struck a deal. Shinichi was tasked with helping them 'keep peace' as it were and made sure no other foreign organisation took hold of Japanese soil. He became a well respected, and sometimes feared, persona in both the legal and illegal realms.

Yet, Shinichi felt more alone than before. All of the doves that he picked up from the Kuroba house had passed away, though they have left behind their offsprings. But even their numbers were dwindling. He often took solace in the Kuroba house rather than at the Kudo manor where his parents were staying for good. He had also begun moving some of his things there, just so he could feel closer to the one he had loved with all his heart. None too soon, he made the Kuroba home his permanent residence, not that anyone minded. By that time, Kuroba Chikage had never been found again and his own parents had already bought the house in Ekoda to keep it safe.

Days turned to weeks, which turned to months, and finally years. And Shinichi began noticing something off about himself. He approached Haibara one evening, the young scientist just returning from Teitan Senior High, to ask about his condition.

"I believe," she began as soon as they were inside the basement lab, "it had something to do with the APTX." She pulled out several sheets of paper, filled with graphs, statistics, and medical jargon.

Shinichi glanced through the report, nothing particularly jump to mind. "In layman's term if you will?" He handed them back, waiting on an explanation.

"Even during your collapse, I had noticed the irregularity but I had not thought anything of it at the time. It was not unusual for the aging process to slow when a patient had slipped into a coma. However, in your case, your body was placed in a stasis-like condition. Something that should be medically impossible and yet, here you are, still looking no older than when you graduated from high school." She gestured to Shinichi's physical body.

"No. Tell me you're lying." Disbelief did not begin to describe what Shinichi was feeling. There was anger, pain, sorrow, and worry inside his mind. He had hoped, that by the time he completed his self-proclaimed task of bringing down the people responsible, he could finally join Kaito. But what Haibara was telling him was indicating that he might not even get his just reward.

"It's not only that," She muttered, "but I've found that there is physical evidence your body is repeatedly mending itself back to the same state regardless what what happens. And it's not only for you, but me as well. The moment I return to my original age, I'm most likely to stop aging as well."

"No, I can't believe. It shouldn't happen like this!" Shinichi pushed away from the chair, it clattered loudly on the hard floor. While he had noticed that any injury he sustained would the healed in a rather short period of time, without leaving any scars, he had chalked it all up to quick healing factors and a more healthier diet that Haibara had been keeping him on. He had never once thought it was due to an anomaly in the APTX.

He looked around the room, hoping to gather some form of physical evidence. The chance provided itself when Shinichi spotted an empty syringe lying on a counter. Without hesitation, he plunged its into his neck, not caring he was injecting air into his bloodstream.

"Kudo-kun!" Haibara cried out in alarm as she rushed over to him.

He felt pain, he felt darkness, his mind suddenly became blank as his eyes was squeezed closed. He physically felt his heart doing strange rhythms and his breathing becoming more erratic. He knew he had fallen down, crashed into the ground.

But the next moment, he found himself waking up on the medical table in the basement lab with Haibara frowning down and machines beeping.

"Kudo-kun." She shook her head.

"It's a fluke. It must be." He murmured as he struggled to sit up. Haibara merely stood back and observed, though she was definitely on edge as though preparing for when Shinichi would act destructively.

Shinichi ignored everything else and stumbled into the Kudo Manor, his parents peered out from the dining room with looks of concerned. They asked after his wellbeing, whether he wanted to have dinner. But he refused and took up to locking himself in his old bedroom.

There were feathers all around his room, a strange occurrence since the doves generally prefer the Kuroba house rather than his room here. Shinichi did not recognise any of the doves here, though none seemed too concerned about his presence. He dared approach on sitting on a small nest in the corner of one of the shelves. She looked up, cocking her head sideways. He reached out and the dove lean in closer.

"And who might you be?" He asked softly, receiving a replying coo. "Who allowed you in here?" He looked around, there were several other spots with a nest and a nesting dove. For some odd reason, he thought the doves were sent to this location on purpose.

Shinichi was brought out of his thoughts with a rather ecstatic coo from the dove in front of him. She had this expecting look in her eyes that drew Shinichi's attention. Moments later, there were cracking sounds and none too soon were small chirps.

"Ah, looks like they've finally hatched." His mother came in with a tray filled with several bowls. Some held water while others held seeds and fruits.

"You let them in?" Shinichi's gaze never left the small ones in the nest as their mother ambled out towards where the bowls were placed.

"They came not long after you left to live in Ekoda." She gave the dove in front of her a ruffling of the feathers. "They wouldn't leave no matter what so Yuu-chan suggested letting them. They all seemed healthy and it looks like they rather liked setting up their families here."

That night, he stared blankly at the wall. The revelation that he could no longer die was a heavy burden. Yet, the single experimental action inside the lab was not conclusive in Shinichi's mind.

"It must be a fluke." He repeated the words. "The amount of air inside the syringe was small to being with. It would not have caused much damage let alone kill." He looked around his room, spotting the sleeping doves. The room was extremely quiet and he hated it.

He rummaged around just to make some noise. When his hand tugged open his desk drawers, his mind concocted another absurd test. Gingerly, he lifted the pair of scissors out, examining the blade with a rather expert eye. Deeming it was clean and sharp enough, he took it with him towards the bathroom. There, he turned the faucet to run warm water into the bathtub. He watched as light steam began to rise and he placed his wrist underneath the running water. His mind was strangely blank as he ran the blade through the top most layer of his skin, but he knew that such a small cut would not kill him. He made several more cuts, all along the same original wound, each going deeper and deeper into veins and arteries. He rested his body along the side of the bathtub, hand outstretched towards the water. The once warm liquid soon became cooler to his senses, his eyes began to droop as the night passed. He smiled softly, knowing that his consciousness is slowly drifting away towards the darkness.

"Soon, Kaito. I'm coming." He muttered, not sure whether the words were formed as he could barely move his mouth. "Soon…"

When his eyes opened, he was given the sight of a familiar ceiling. To his side was his mother seated on a recliner chair that had once been inside a nearby guest room. His father was just entering the room when Shinichi looked over.

"That was a dumb thing you did Shinichi. You should have said something to us." He came over to rest a hand on Shinichi's forehead. "You shouldn't have to resort to such...drastic measures. Your mother and I are here for you."

"I just...I just…" Shinichi was not sure how he could tell his parents the truth, knowing that it would only cause them more worry.

"Haibara-san to us." His father went over to where his mother was resting, carefully pulling up a blanket to cover her. "She told us the truth.

"I'm sorry…" Shinichi was once again apologising for something outside of his control. "After everything, I had only wanted to see him once more. And I thought I could." Tears flowed out, staining the pillow case as he tries to turn away from the concerned look on his father's face.

He stayed the night in the presence of the doves, both his parents left him alone after having been assured he would not try anything drastic. Several doves came over to keep him company, snuggling up on his pillow as he fell asleep. In the morning, he was woken up with several energetic birds tugging at his hair.

"Alright, alright. I'm up." Shinichi had long been used to such a wakeup call. The doves living with him in the Kuroba house also had the tendency to tug at his hair when the sun rose. He figured it was either instinct or someone must have taught them.

He left the Kudo Manor to return to his home in Ekoda, remembering to leave the windows to his bedroom open as several of the doves have taken to following him. He wanted to make sure they can return to their nest when they wanted to. Strangely, the doves settled in with him in Ekoda. He paid little attention to the idiosyncrasies of the birds and instead begin to plan for the inevitably long future ahead of him.

His parents had called to check up on him from time to time. Haibara having stopped by when she reached her original age. She left him with a contact number and address along with a strange little gadget that the professor had made.

"Call it a final invention." The elderly man had said, "a communication device for the pair of you."

"What about this then?" Shinichi gestured at the black box sitting on his coffee table.

"That's a backup. Along with data for all the other inventions I've made. I'm sure you'll make good use of them." He smiled gently as he sipped on his lukewarm tea. Shinichi actually took a moment to reconcile his mental image of the eccentric and forever active inventor with the current appearance of the professor. His hair had long turned white and thin, wrinkles were visible on the once child-like face. His hands shook ever so slightly as he lifted the cup from the saucer. Shinichi had never realised the passage of time, though he had taken care to apply the correct amount of makeup to create a cover that he was aging with his peers. It was fortunate he run a private investigation company, having elected to stay as a consultant to the police instead of entering the force.

"Kudo-kun," Haibara looked torn for a moment, "I'm going to be leaving soon."

"University?" He said hopefully. He never had a chance to enter it, but he does have a degree through long-distance learning and online learning.

"Maybe, but I'll be constantly travelling." She showed him her own communication device. "If anything comes up…"

"I'll be sure to contact you only if I need to." He nodded, knowing it would be risky to be in constant contact with each other. People may draw strange conclusions to a pair of seemingly unaging teenagers.

His concept of time was horribly skewed in the preceding years. He knew days passed but he had little to show for it. He attended a variety of events; wedding events were the worst for him as he was constantly reminded of the loneliness left by Kaito. Funerals were no better as they reminded him of his unchanging future. He went to Ran's wedding with a forced smile on his face as he presented them with gifts. Went to Hattori's wedding as a best man dressed in a pale blue suit that painfully reminded him of how similar it was to a certain white suit in terms of cutting. He went to Hakuba's wedding to see Kaito's childhood friend smile and being married off to a detective that would not doubt rankle Kaito if he was here. He attended to Jii's funeral, gave a solemn and heartfelt speech to the crowd, in the hopes of seeing Kaito's mother attending as well to bid farewell to an old family friend.

When he realised his time to stay in Ekoda was up, which coincided with the passing of his parents, he picked up his life and left Japan behind. He had a variety of locations to pick from as he had made many land purchases under various aliases. Shinichi had made sure to bring the doves to each and every one of his houses, not wanting to part with the last remaining ties to his beloved Kaito. Even though all of the original flock had passed away due to old age, Shinichi still treasured their offsprings.

He stumbled across countries, visiting the sights that his father wrote about in his novels. He had taken up to writing novels, using his father's name because it was a gift left from his father. Apparently, he had hinted that he passed the name of 'Kudo Yuusaku' onto another promising writer in the hopes that his legacy would continue. This brought in a continual source of income for Shinichi, having money sent to a specific Swiss Account that only he had access to. Editors were forever frustrated and annoyed that he too took up his father's antics of only sending the manuscripts at the very last minute. Even worst was the editors had no means of tracking him down this time because no one knows who the current holder of the name was. Still, Shinichi traveled, and wrote, and on the off chance helped local police solve crimes that seemed to be unsolveable.

His luck rarely strikes these days. Shinichi thinks it was because he was not stalked by death, as many police officers had claimed long ago, but was actually stalked by unhappiness. Seeing as he was constantly in a state of loneliness, never feeling the warmth of happiness, he no longer has to stumble across murders and dead bodies. His wondering soon took him back to Japan, to an abode that his mother, of all people, had left him in a will that he only found a decade after her passing. There had been a stipulation of "visit when your heart grows old and weary" along with a copper key.

It was an old house up in the hillside, overlooking a valley and a large lake. The surroundings were void of people but it was a good place for Shinichi to rest his soul for a while. He would have headed to the Kudo manor in Beika but it was currently being rented out to a family with distant relations to a certain blond detective that had passed away decades ago. Though the house in Ekoda was free for him to use, he would rather not return there for a while as harsh memories often assaulted him in his sleep when he was there.

Stepping out of the car be bought just a few days ago, he was in awe of the state of cleanliness. The whitewashed gates shone in the afternoon light, the gate in a polished silver finish as though it was only installed yesterday. There was a waft of rose scent coming from the gardens, littered with a variety of floral bushes with roses being a majority. He used his key to open the gate, only to find it was already opened. To the left was a large oak tree with several small birdhouses on its branches. There was a hanging swing on one of the lower branches, swinging slowly in the air. A dove was perched on the wooden plank, beady eyes looking at Shinichi before it flew off into an upper window of the house. The birdbath by the side also housed several doves, all of whom fluttered as Shinichi walked passed. Coming up to the doorway, Shinichi paused to stare at the large gem on the doorknob. It was glowing a pale pink even under the afternoon sun. The cutting and the colour was familiar and Shinichi had to search deep into his memories for the sense of recognition.

"No." He whispered softly to himself, hurrying to push the key into the keyhole. His hand shook as he pushed open the door.

"I'm sorry." A familiar voice came from the top of the staircase. Shinichi dared to look up to see a slender form with dove on his shoulder. "And welcome home." The warm smile, the sparkling eyes, and the fond tone had Shinichi abandon his suitcase by the foyer with a loud clatter as he ran up the steps to tackle the person before him.

"Idiot!" He cried into the shoulder, letting his tears run down and soak into the fabric. "Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." He hugged tightly onto the form, fearing that the moment he released it, everything would turn out to be a hallucination.

"There there." A hand smoothed out his hair, patted along his back. "I'm sorry."

"I _hate_ you!" Shinichi replied with a harsh hit to the person's back. There was a pained chuckle that Shinichi felt more than heard.

"No you don't." The person snuggled closer, his warm breath rustling up his rather tidy hair.

"I really really hate you." Shinichi pulled the person closer, face smooshed up against the flat chest. The familiar sweet smell mixed comfortably with the smell of smoke and flowers. He had dreamt many times of smelling the scent and now, his dreams had finally turned to reality.

"Yes, yes. You _hate_ me." The hand patted gently. The person's hand held onto Shinichi's waist with the same amount of pressure Shinichi was exerting.

"You're real right?" Shinichi looked up into the sparkling indigo eyes. "You're actually real right? I'm not dreaming?"

"I'm real and I'm sorry for not going out to find you but I thought it would be easier and quicker for you to come find me. After all, you're the detective." Shinichi had missed the blinding smile, missed the timbre of voice, missed everything that was set before him in that instance.

As they held each other's gaze, Shinichi could not help but lean in further so that he could have a better view of the face he thought he might have forgotten. He allowed a single hand to free itself from the hold, tracing the soft flesh and savouring the smooth skin.

"You're warm." He murmured. A stark difference from the last time he touched.

"Am I?" The hand removed itself from his hair and placed it on the forehead. "I don't think I'm coming down with anything. Actually, I haven't been sick in a really really long time…" Indigo eyes looked down warmly at Shinichi. "Speaking of health, you're still as slim as before. Have you been eating properly or are you still advocating 'coffee is a meal'?"

Shinichi sniffled, ignoring the teasing remarks and instead focusing on the sensation of being held.

"Maybe I should call Ai-chan, just in case." He stood up, bring Shinichi with him as he descended down the staircase. "I think she's in the country right now, but if not, I'm sure she could fly in."

"You've been in contact with her?" Surprised to hear that he had a means of communicating with her. His own device was still inside the trunk and Shinichi doubted he knew about it.

"Hm?" Slender fingers paused as he dialed the landline. "She comes by often, using the place as a hideaway. The house is so far away from civilization that no one ever comes by." Fingers then returned to the number pad.

Shinichi tuned out the conversation, eyes roaming the body in front of him. Nothing had changed from his observation. The body was still lean, filled with wiry muscles fit for acrobatics as opposed to his own that was trained for strength. They were still of the same height, eyes still able to meet without tilting. The posture was the same, the tension on the shoulders and the sense of constant vigilance was there. It was as though they never parted and that time never made a mark on either of them.

Shinichi had many questions and he wondered if it was alright to voice them. A particularly bothersome one was how he managed to survive.

"Oh that." There was a moment of sadness in the indigo eyes. "You remember that don't you?" The slender fingers pointed at the doorway.

Shinichi nodded. It was difficult to forget the gem that started it all. That large diamond that led to a series of unfortunate events.

"I did say it was Pandora didn't I?" He scratched his cheeks shyly, "and I had unwittingly used it, I think, when I died."

Shinichi scrunched up his face, eyes closing as memories flooded back. Of the pale face lying on a bloodied bed as Haibara bent over to operate. Of the softening sounds and the sudden silence as all the machines had disappeared.

"But Haibara extracted the bullet. You were only supposed to wake up." Shinichi traced his hand to where the wound once was. There was a little bump, a little irregularity in the touch. "She said we only had to wait for you to wake." His breath hitched as he relived the moment.

"But apparently, my body was unable to recover. My mother said you were by my side when it happened. That you refused to let me go." Slender hands drew Shinichi away from the wound and up to the mouth where it laid a soft kiss. "She took me away, wanting to spare you the pain of seeing me...dead."

"But you're alive now." Shinichi peered up through his lashes. "You said you're real."

"I am." He looked passed Shinichi out towards the window. "And I'm glad my mother decided to go for a burial instead of a cremation."

"You were…"

"Buried. With Pandora." He sighed, eyes closing in pain. "My mother took me to a private plot, to be placed next to dad. She followed old Victorian designs for graves, adding on the little bell and all. My dad had the exact same design as well, only it never rang. Mum had been freaked out when she hurriedly opened my coffin. It was strange seeing her cry. Her veil did nothing to hide her tears."

"But why didn't she tell us...me?" He had tried to find out about the supposed funeral and the location of the gravemarker. At the time, he had to see it for himself. But no matter how many graveyards he went to, how many crematorium he visited, he never found a single clue or marker for the family of Kuroba.

"I was not exactly...sane...when I was, reanimated I guess? My memories of the time are patchy still, even after so many years. I'd like to think it was trauma that caused this. Plus I was suffering from amnesia apparently, so I didn't know until a lot later. By then, my mother had passed on, leaving me with instructions to come here. Ai-chan was somehow expecting me by then and proceeded to fill the rest of my memory gaps."

"And yet she didn't contact me…"

"We weren't sure how you'd react. Which was why Yukiko-san left you with the will and message. She wanted you to come here on your own terms."

"I'm not sure whether to be angry or relieve." Shinichi pulled back from the hold. He felt slightly betrayed even though he was happy to see him again.

"Take all the time you need to recover." He stepped closer, pulling in for a final hug before letting Shinichi go. "I'll still be here for when you need me."

Shinichi reached out before he could step away, his own hand latching on the thin wrist. "Please don't go."

"Not going anywhere." The wrist in his hands turned to take hold, tugging Shinichi towards the direction of a brightly lit room.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to kill Kaito off...So it's a good thing he's still here right?  
> Kudos & Kurobas welcomed, comments much appreciated. Flames will be thrown into the Mariana Trench and will never see the light of day.


End file.
